Putin On The Ritz

Maybe at the recent G-20 summit, Obama and Putin might have had a conversation like this:

Putin: So you really got screwed when Parliament pulled the rug out from under Cameron.
Obama: Yeah, I really didn't see that one coming.
Putin: (chuckling) Sometimes democracy really sucks! Listen, now you have to go to Congress so maybe I can help.
Obama: Talk to me, dude. I can't deal with those knuckleheads.
Putin: Listen, you and I both know Assad is nuts, but we're his benefactor. If you do something then we have to help him, and frankly I'm not in the mood.
Obama: Neither am I, but I drew the red line.
Putin: (chuckling, again)That's not what you said at the press conference.
Obama: Aw c'mon Vlad, don't hand me that crap. You know I had to say that.
Putin: Okay,okay, I was just breaking chops. Look I don't want to get dragged into Assad's mess so how about this. You get Kerry to throw out a line that if Assad surrenders all his chemical weapons and they are removed from the country you'll consider no military action.
Obama: Why Kerry? Why not you or me?
Putin; We have to worry about our images. Kerry has foot in mouth disease. After all he was for it before he was against it. If he suggests it and it doesn't catch on you can just throw him under the bus. He doesn't give a crap his wife is loaded.
Obama: But if you and Assad latch on to it, then I can say it provides a better resolution and I don't have to worry about dealing with those nimnulls in Congress. I can say the threat of American military might prevailed! Seriously, you would let me take the credit for this?
Putin: (sighs) Yeah, but you'll owe me one. There's bigger fish to fry.
Obama: Wow, I can make an Oval Office address and really clean up my image, maybe even another Nobel Peace Prize!
Putin; Don't get ahead of yourself bright eyes. Remember, you're still my bitch on this one. And be careful about Oval Office addresses, Russians get nervous about that stuff.
Obama: Vlad I really owe you for this one.